In my last blog post I wrote about how the grief for my Dad has become very painful again. I’ve had a lot of support from not only my friends but also people I don’t know who’ve got in touch via social media. I really appreciate it, thank you.
It seems fitting that I should talk about a rather extraordinary woman, who I met at a wedding this summer; her name is Kayla Jacobs. I remember when she walked into the church before the wedding ceremony. She was tall, elegant and beautifully dressed, but also carried herself with a certain allure that’s hard to define. We chatted at the party afterwards and we realised within a few minutes that we were going to be good friends. Kayla is a brilliant writer and has been featured in Vogue, Tatler, Glamour, Conde Nast Traveller and Refinery29. Her latest endeavour is Scent and the Mind, a beautiful new website that explores the intersection of olfaction and wellness, I highly recommend checking it out. Earlier this summer, Kayla and I recorded her first podcast. We have both lost our dads and we spoke about the grieving process and why certain scents trigger memories of our fathers. I also talked about mental health and how the way I dress and do my makeup effects my mood.
Even though Kayla and I have led very different lives, we are both in ‘the club’, by that I mean the group of people who have lost loved ones. When someone you care about deeply about dies, you reluctantly join body of people who know how acute the pain of grief can be. Before my dad got sick and died, there was so much about life that I had been sheltered from. I’d no idea what it was like to spend the rest of my days with a gaping hole in my heart that can never be filled. However, experiencing intense loss and sadness teaches invaluable lessons and results in hard-earned strength and wisdom. Eventually, you will be grateful that you had that person and the memory of their love will sustain and nourish you. Hopefully, our conversation will remind anyone who is grieving that they are not alone.
I hope you enjoy listening to this as much as enjoyed talking to Kayla.