I’ve always has an addictive, obsessive personality which has sometimes manifested in the way I dress. Looking  back through my blog, I can see the various periods when I would become preoccupied with one particular thing, but this behaviour predates blogging by a long way. For a few months in 2013 I was obsessed with PVC and neoprene, but my look wasn’t about  kinky conical bras and rubber boots. I favoured boxy neoprene jumpers and full PVC swing skirts. My style was a little hit and miss during this period but some of my outfits did, against all odds, work out pretty well. Then there was the time in the late 00s when I was obsessed with Madmen and I trawled Ebay, looking for vintage dresses that I would wear with chunky boots. There was also a phase in 2009 when I was heavily into the 80s and my favourite outfit was a long-sleeved, black body-con mini dress with shoulder pads, thigh-high black platform boots with six inch heels and a vintage 80s metallic statement jacket with yet more shoulder pads. In my boots I stood six foot three with shoulders that would rival an American Football star and I loved it. Despite my intimidating appearance, I was very vulnerable at the time and still recovering from a nervous breakdown, I needed to feel armoured just to get out of the house.

Clothing carries a lot of sentimental weight for me. I’m not a hoarder as a rule, but I to hold on to clothes for a really long time. I remember what was going on when I wore any one particular thing. I have a visual memory and I often struggle to remember people’s names, but I will remember exactly what they were wearing when I met them. Even if the memories attached to a piece of clothing are negative, I’ll still hold on to it because it feels like a relic of my past. I worry that if I let go I’ll forget and lose a part of myself. Despite this, I’ve recently purged my wardrobe of loads of stuff, some of it I had kept for over a decade. It was a wrench to let those pieces go but I realise that I have to surrender at some point. This would appear to be a period in my life when I mull over the past, try to make sense of it and move on. Although I am a bit bereft without my hoarded stash of memories, I feel lighter now there aren’t any ghosts haunting my wardrobe.

Now that I’ve cleared out a load of stuff, I can actually see what I have and it’s clear that my style has become even more specific. The cuts are all more or less the same, the variation is in the colours and the prints. I’m still drawn to the 80s but not the hulking madness of the ’09 shoulder pads. A white biker jacket is not technically the most tasteful item of clothing, and in years to come I may wonder what was I thinking, but for now I’m into it. The pink tiger-print skirt is another nod to the 80s, it’s from Rixo, a more recent obsession.The espadrilles from Castañer are pretty much my ideal summer shoe. I’m sure something much trendier will come along, but I’ll be wearing these for the foreseeable. The bag is from Oliver Bonas and the sunglasses by Versace and are really old.

 

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