I was in a strange mood when these photos were taken. Despite the beauty of the surrounding cherry blossom, I felt pensive and not altogether present. My detachment from reality probably explains why I chose a 70s vintage dress that wouldn’t be out of place in a Kate Bush video. I’m still recovering from a patch of poor mental health and although I am improving every day, progress is not linear and it sometimes feels like I take two steps forward and one step back. I think you can tell by the expression on my face in these photos.
When I am lost inside my own head, I find it useful to focus on simple pleasures. The smell of spring flowers, my son’s laugh, my husband’s arm around my shoulder and the quiet assurance that I have been through worse and survived every time. It all helps to bring me back to the present. By the end of the shoot I felt less distracted and disconnected, just for being outside among the trees. Sometimes it’s helpful to take a deep breath and try to stay grounded in the moment. I’ve started meditating but I find it difficult to quiet my hyper-active, monkey mind. I am getting there, slowly.